Week 20
Week 20! There are 32 more weeks still to go and I do not know what they will hold but I am excited to find out because I am changed. I type this from the couch at A and S’s place because when I woke up this morning thinking about everything I had to do today I did not want to stay home to do them so I packed up my shit and hopped on the train. There is a lot I could say about this week, but I won’t for the sake of time and self-protection—overall, I will write that I finally understand the internet meme of to be loved is to be changed. Ten weeks ago I did not! But now I am changed, dirty and well-loved and cherished with a freshly beating heart, and that is the greatest gift of all!
I still believe my friends are one of the deepest loves of my life, because they are. There is no way they aren’t, whether we’re discussing that Garfield meme over salted egg prawns in Chinatown or discussing the future together at 3am shoving bodega food in our mouths after a perfect Yaeji concert or discussing books on a rooftop lawn in Philly. My friend J and I fight over whether it’s better to be emo (sad & lonely emotions) or goth (existential void) and M says the difference between the two is that goths in love think it’s us against the world while emos in love think it’s us against everyone else. This statement merely clarifies to be that I veer more on the goth side because though the empty expanse of nothingness yawns on ahead, at least my loved ones and I will survive because we have each other.
Anyway, no matter if we’re emo or goth or a little bit of both, at least there are people who will mosh and belt out Welcome to the Black Parade with you in a Williamsburg karaoke bar.
Wishing you lots of love of every kind!
